7 Things To Know About The ENFJ In Your Life

ENFJs are driven by a deep sense of altruism and empathy for other people. They have an intuitive sense of the emotions of others, and often act as an emotional barometer for the people around them. However, their compassion is reserved for the people close to them: they are often humanitarian in nature and may feel genuine concern for the ills of the entire human race. They tend to personally experience the feelings of others and feel compelled to act when they see people suffering.

ENFJs want close, supportive connections with others, and believe that cooperation is the best way to get things done. They like to be liked and are very sensitive to feedback, both positive and negative. They expect the best not just from themselves, but from others as well, and may find themselves disappointed when others are not as genuine in their intentions as the ENFJ. ENFJs work hard to maintain strong relationships and strive to be valuable members of their families, groups, and communities.

1. Their Personality Lives for Other People

An ENFJ’s world is formed by other people. Their entire life’s motivation is made up externally of human situations and relationships. ENFJs constantly want to help other people to be the best they can be, to make things right in their worlds, and to enable and empower them. ENFJs are great empathizers and they can easily understand other people’s feelings, perspectives, and needs. ENFJs feel that they are following their life’s path when they’re bringing out the best in others. ENFJs work and feel others for selflessly.

2. They are More Reserved than Other Extroverts

ENFJs are quite simple but still, they are more reserved than the other normal extrovert people. Though they listen to everybody’s feelings, love talks, pain etc but they generally not express themselves much in front of others.If an ENFJ worries that their own self-expression would stifle someone else’s, they will step back to allow the other person to shine. An ENFJ’s top priority is always to bring out the best in others, so they only show the parts of themselves that they feel will benefit that goal.

3. They Sometimes Feel Alone Even When Surrounded By People

This point sounds quite unusual for any type of Extrovert. But in the case of ENFJ, they find sometimes alone in the group of thousands of people or in a party or even surrounded by their friends. They lost in their own thoughts, own world, own dreams. They place so much of their energy and focus on other people that they might not understand themselves. This will be especially true for those ENFJs who hold back parts of themselves in order to protect others. ENFJs who feel this way might go to extreme lengths to never be alone.

4. Their People Skills Can Be Used for Good or for Evil

ENFJs have such amazing people skills that they can usually make people do anything they want them to do. Since the majority of ENFJs are truly concerned with the welfare of others, it is rare that an ENFJ will use this ability for evil. But they do have this power and may exert more control over others than they realize.

ENFJs are amazing and charismatic that they don’t put much effort to change the decision of other people into their way. For example — If ENFJs want that opposite guy want to forget that girl but he doesn’t have any interest to talk directly with that guy. Then he use his statistics and work according to that he will definitely forget that lady.

5. Their Self-Esteem Takes More Frequent Hits Than You Would Think

ENFJs get their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem from an external source: other people. They feel productive when they’re able to make everyone around them happy, and they feel fulfilled by their compassion and deep connections with other people. Although ENFJs have a great aptitude for influencing others, it’s never possible to completely control other people, so this is an inherently fragile situation. An ENFJ’s self-confidence will be shaken when they’re not able to help people, or if their attempts at help are criticized and rejected.

6. They Can Overburden Themselves with Other People’s Problems

ENFJ usually overburden themselves by the other’s problem, anxiety, pain. ENFJs will probably agree to help you even if they don’t have the time or energy available. Many people will come to an ENFJ for help, assistance, or advice, and the ENFJ is always happy to help. Sometimes there will be too many requests, but ENFJs feel terrible when they have to turn someone away.If you are an ENFJ personality type then you definitely understand the way you overburden yourself. This is good sometimes but sometimes this bad.

7. They Can See Right Through You

As ENFJs go through life, they get better and better at reading people. They are very good at recognizing other people’s motivations, desires, and emotions. Since their primary interest in life is to help people improve, it’s a natural skill that they develop over time. People who have an ENFJ in their life sometimes feel exposed because they feel like the person with the ENFJ personality sees right through them. While this level of understanding can be a great help in developing new relationships, it can also be smothering once both people know each other well.

ENFJ is one of the less common types in the population, especially for men. Among men, ENFJ is the second rarest type. ENFJs make up: 3% of the general population 3% of women 2% of men Famous ENFJs include Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Margaret Mead, Ralph Nader, Abraham Maslow, Dr. Phil McGraw, and Martin Luther King Jr. When an ENFJ is present, no matter what the product or mission, the people involved will be important and the human dynamic will be made a central part of the process.” – Otto Kroeger, Type Talk at Work

How To Learn To Be An Extrovert

ENFJ is a combination of four letters that generally doesn’t mean a whole lot to most people but to people who identify with them, it means a lot. There are sixteen personality types within the Myers-Briggs classification system and those who agree with the results they are given tend to spread their combination of letters far and wide. As an ENFJ, I am an extrovert who relies heavily on intuition and making sure there are peace and harmony in my world. I am highly sensitive to the emotions of others, absorbing them as my own, and can, in certain situations, put those emotions ahead of my own.

But that’s not really what this is about. I am surrounded on all sides by people who identify as introverts. People who need alone time just as much as I need people time. If they are around too many people for too long, they get grumpy. If I am left alone for too long, I become a surly mound of salt who is not incredibly pleasant to be around. As a creative, I tend to spend a lot of time inside my own head and it can get a little gloomy if I have to be there for too long.

But being around introverts, I tried for a long time, to shoehorn myself into their world. When I originally tested as an extroverted Myers-Briggs type, I fought it. I don’t like people. I hate crowds. Everyone in my immediate circle does so I must too, right? They are my friends because we are similar, right?

As I have spent more time on my own, I have come to accept, nay, embrace, this extroverted side of myself. I read somewhere that introverts make friends in one of two ways. Through other introversion-centric activities like book clubs, or because an extrovert liked them and adopted them as their own. Which explains why so many of my friends are introverts. I just pick them all up as I go, shuffling them into my fold, taking on the role of Friend Who Will Talk to Random Strangers in My [their] Stead, allowing them to blend in with the scenery.

And I love being an extrovert. Since embracing this aspect of my personality, I have had a lot of tremendous experiences that I wouldn’t have had, had I continued to hide away in my cavern of faux-introverted solitude. I travel alone. I enjoy having another person with whom to share my adventures but I am not worried about being by myself if no one wants to join me.

I am not afraid to jump into the middle of a conversation between strangers, especially at a social event. Standing in line at concerts is the best place to do this and then, even though I came alone, I don’t have to be alone. I’ve even made a couple of new friends that way. This tends to horrify my introverted friends but it also takes the focus away from them, which is another reason introverts have extroverted friends.

There are other aspects of my personality that make this new life as an extrovert somewhat tedious. As an intellectual and creative, I hate small talk but as an extrovert I find myself drawn to it constantly. I think I put off a vibe to strangers that I am someone who will be willing to talk because I genuinely like other humans.

Which tends to lead to them jabbering on endlessly, more often than not, about themselves. But as a creative and intellectual, I am also 100% comfortable turning off my love of humanity to plug in my earbuds and bury my nose in a book, thus also turning off my blinking neon “Talk to me!!” sign. For me, it’s all about balance. I am an extrovert and I am comfortable talking to people, approaching strangers, speaking my mind when something needs to be said, but the biggest thing I have learned is that I don’t have to be outgoing and boisterous 24/7 in order to feed my extroversion.

I just have to find the people and things that don’t make me feel like isolation is going to push me to the edge of sanity. I have learned that while people recharge my batteries, solitude helps me power down. I have learned that, in the right company, under the right circumstances, I can keep going long after most people would be exhausted because the right company keeps me energized. And I am learning more about being an extrovert, every day.

6 Things You Need To Know If You’re Dating An INFJ, The World’s Rarest Personality Type

INFJs are said to be one of the rarest Myers-Briggs Personality types, making up only 1-2% of the population. Their type stands for Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), and Judgment (J).  They are emphatic, introspective, imaginative, have rich inner worlds and they also happen to make devoted partners, friends and activists for justice. They also tend to be on the complex side. But what’s it like dating them? Here are six things you need to know if you’re dating an INFJ:

1. When they love, they love deeply. So you have to be able to match their devotion where it counts.

When it comes to romance, there is usually little to no grey area for the INFJ – they’re usually all in or all out. INFJs are known for their extremes and their romanticism is no exception. These types make great partners because they can be incredibly thoughtful, warm and attuned to your needs. You may be surprised at how much they carefully take into account your thoughts, opinions, and surprise you with their ability to remember what matters to you. They cherish meaningful connections and take special care to satisfy the ones they love – and when they’re committed, they are faithful.

However, it takes a lot for them to settle down. INFJ types are always in the pursuit of the “ideal” relationship – which means they want someone who they can connect with physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. A one-night stand or a meaningless encounter, no matter how fun it may be at the time, just doesn’t do it for the INFJ in the long-term. They want someone who is going to fulfill them – they want a soul connection.  There is nothing that turns them on more than a partner who can engage in witty banter, satisfy them in bed andexcite them mentally. They love deep philosophical discussions and they have an extroverted side to them which is open to adventure – so in order to have a successful partnership with them, you need to be able to do both. They want someone who can both cherish and challenge them in healthy ways. They want someone just as multifaceted as they are – someone who can wear many hats and play many roles. Their ideal lover is someone who can be friend, lover and confidante – all at once.

2. They’re highly sentimental, but they’re also kind of badass.

INFJs are usually stereotyped as sensitive, reserved and emotional personality types – and they are! The depth of their emotions is powerful, and at times, a bit overwhelming to encounter for less emotional, stoic personality types. However, these types can be just as logical and reason-based when it comes to knowing what they want. And they eventually recognize when they are being disrespected or their efforts are not being reciprocated.

Remember that because an INFJ is focusing a great deal of attention in meeting your needs, they may sometimes fail to advocate for their own. That’s why it’s important to “check in” with the INFJ, especially if you sense they’re withdrawing from you.

They are not the types you should mess with, lest you encounter their infamous door slam as they leave. Don’t make the mistake of mistreating them continually and exploiting their kindness – they, too, have limits. Once these limits have been crossed a sufficient number of times, INFJs possess a Herculean-like emotional strength that enables them to cut toxic people out of their life without so much as a second glance.

3. They need time to disappear into their inner world – but once they’ve taken a break, they can be the life of the party.

INFJs are extremely generous with their time and energy, but what they really need is a great deal of time to recharge alone. These types love people, especially people they connect with – but being the natural introverts that they are, they can find too much time spent with people taxing. If you’re someone who constantly needs their attention, just realize that they will be more drained than energized by spending too much time in your presence. This is just the way they are wired.

They also tend to be highly creative and intellectual – so giving them some breathing room (even if they’re shy about asking for it) to reflect and create is actually essential to not only their success but the success of the relationship as well. INFJs need time to work on their goals and mission, as these types tend to be activists and advocates for social justice. You’ll find that they’re much more fun to be around after they’ve come back from one of their introspective ‘retreats.’

Their ability to flourish away from people and within social interactions can thankfully benefit your relationship. This trait can come in handy in that it allows for a variety of activities with an INFJ, allowing for a fine balance of nights in as much as nights out. Date nights with this personality type shouldn’t just be all about going out to restaurants: they should contain a mix between meaningful and exhilarating. They can range from connecting with nature on outdoorsy outings, going to art galleries and museums, a night of jazz or dancing, all the way to bold adventures on your combined bucket list. An INFJ (given that they are comfortable doing so) can just as easily go out to a bar and ride a mechanical bull for the first time as they can spend a quiet evening alone cuddling and watching movies on the couch.

4. They’re not afraid to call you out – and emotional validation is a must when they do.

Since INFJs tend to be advocates for justice and equality, they tend to look towards fairness in all things. That means that if an INFJ sees that you’re acting in a way that is out of alignment with integrity, they will usually call you out on it, and they have no qualms in doing so – no matter who you are.

They are not a fan of hierarchies, so your position, status or perceived role in their life bears little to no bearing on defending themselves or defending their loved ones. Gentler INFJs can skirt around the issue when they initially communicate their unease, but eventually, they too will have to resort to direct communication (which can feel like it can come out of nowhere if you aren’t prepared).

Recognize that when an INFJ has called you out, it’s not because they don’t care for you or love you. In fact, it’s usually because they care enough and are invested in the relationship to try to make it work. Rather than shutting down or criticizing them for expressing their needs, it’s best to find a common ground and validate them.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them – it just means you should be willing to see their perspective and understand what needs are still being unmet. The fact that you’re seeking to understand is usually enough for the INFJ. Since INFJs perform the due diligence of always being quite conscientious about meeting the needs of others, all they want in return is the same form of respect. Emotionally invalidating them or making their needs seem unimportant is a surefire way to get an INFJ withdraw from you – and sometimes even the relationship altogether.

5. They are perfectionists – and sometimes, they may project these high standards onto you.

INFJs are always on some sort of mission (usually involving saving the world in some way) and they hold themselves up to extremely high standards. This can cause them to doubt and criticize themselves moreso than other types, because they have a tendency to want to be the best at all times.

Their perfectionism, however, doesn’t just end there. They are especially ardent about making sure that the people in their life support their core values and morals.  This can be a valuable trait to have in toxic relationships, where the INFJ can suss out whether or not this person is truly the person for them.

On the other hand, since they tend to be over-the-top in all that they do, they may make the mistake of holding a partner in a healthy relationship to unrealistic ideals. When an INFJ does this unfairly, it’s also more than fair to call them out – especially if you feel they’re missing something in their assessment of you.

6. They have a wild side and you might be left wondering how many personalities they actually possess.

INFJs tend to be independent thinkers and while these types may be pigeonholed into one category or the other, it’s important to realize that they have many layers and cannot fit in a box. They are highly multifaceted and one of those facets include a side that can be very assertive, bold, adventurous, fun-loving and sassy. If you try to stifle this side of them, they can feel extremely constrained and feel suffocated. They’ll feel caged and want to escape. They require the freedom to explore their seemingly contradictory characteristics.

That’s why it’s important to allow them the space to express themselves fully without judgment (so long as you’re both still clear on what your boundaries are in the relationship). A partner who does so is sure to please an INFJ and satisfy him or her in the long-term. Enjoy “unraveling” the INFJ – this is one personality type that is both predictable in their core traits yet rather unpredictable in who they can be. Appreciate their versatility – it is one of the many beautiful elements about dating this dynamic type.

Here’s Exactly What Makes Someone Fall For You, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type


Your intelligence. They love your visionary ideas for seeing what others couldn’t, your stimulating conversation that keeps them on their toes, your blunt honesty that goes straight to the point, your worldly and fascinating perspective that reveals your insightful mind lurking behind your calm personality.


Your creativity. They love your endless optimism for seeing the good in the most hopeless situation, your vivid imagination as evident in your artistic endeavors, your deep contemplation about life, and your ceaseless kindness that you extend to everyone you meet.


Your idealism. They love your strong morals and principles that guide you in your decision-making, your unfaltering determination to stand up for what you believe in, your zeal to make the world a better place, and your boundless compassion that everyone deserves a second chance.


Your passion. They love your loyalty to always put them as a priority, your altruism to help everyone selflessly without any return, your leadership to ensure a sense of direction and clarity, and your charisma that brings people together in an uplifting manner.


Your devotion. They love your unyielding integrity for choosing to do the right thing no matter the circumstances, your stability to giving them the best you have, your efficiency in any task assigned to you, your steely dedication to your career and your unwavering love to them.


Your fearlessness. They love your spontaneity for living and being at ease right in the moment, your boldness to dive right into action, your sharp observation in noticing any small changes of them, and your daring nature that makes being with you, their biggest adventure yet.


Your curiosity. They love your limitless imagination to find a solution, your hunger to being a student of life and to learn about anything and everything around you, your reasoning for providing practical advice, and your commitment to settling down with them.


Your reliability. They love your dedication to materialize every promise you make into reality, your leadership in providing guidance and direction to those in need, and your go-getter approach in embracing challenges and turning adversity into eventual success.


Your resolution. They love how driven and disciplined you are to achieve your ambition and fulfill your goals, your shrewdness to think on your feet and make rapid decision, and your confidence in your abilities and work that attract them to you.


Your free-spirit. They love your energy to be the life of the party and how you seek to encourage and motivate others, your inspiration to find satisfaction in every aspect of your life, and your freedom to build the life you want at your own term.


Your empathy. They love your intuition to connect and bond well with anyone, your flexibility in adapting to new changes, your meticulous nature in proving high quality and unrivaled work, and your heart of gold in giving everyone the best you have.


Your confidence. They love your brilliance in problem-solving and rise above any challenges, your wisdom in imparting sound and valuable knowledge, your will-power to execute your plans and make them successful, and your charisma to attract people together.


Your individuality. They love your fluid and easy-going personality that can get along well with everyone, your adventurous spirit to explore and see where your heart lies, and your nonconformist thinking that set you apart from everyone else.


Your authenticity. They love your eloquence and leadership personality for guidance, your passion in standing up for all your ideas and belief, your strong communicative skills to unite and inspire others, and your optimism to believe the best in people.


Your drive. They love your sensitivity that connects you to others’ emotions, your aspiration to find meaning in everyday life and creating a life that doesn’t just look good on paper but one that you’re proud of, and your quirky thinking that keep them on the edge.


Your energy. They love your generosity to share your time and happiness with them, your strong pillar of support to be there for them, your enthusiasm to make every mundane moment an exciting memory, and your simplicity to cherish life and its abundance of blessing with them.

What’s It’s Like To Be An INFJ, In Other Words, A Living Paradox

If you’re at all into learning more about personality types, you’ve probably run across descriptions of the INFJ before. INFJs are touted as the rarest personality type of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, but what does it actually mean to be an INFJ? INFJs are often labeled as “The Protector,” “The Empathy,” “The Advocate” and “The Counselor.”

This type stands for “Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), Judgment (J).” Although INFJs make up only 1-2% of the population, remember that you’re likely to “run into” an INFJ more often in creative communities (whether virtually or in real life) because that’s where they tend to congregate to share ideas.

As someone who has consistently tested as INFJ since the age of eighteen and has interacted with more than a few INFJs in the mental health advocate community, I wanted to share some insights about this interesting personality type and how they work. Keep in mind that INFJs share a few of these traits with other like-minded personality types such as INTJ, ENFP, INFP and ENFJ, but the ways in which they manifest can vary by personality type. In an INFJ, these traits tend to be embodied in more extreme ways:

1. They are complex but they have integrity.

Like a living, breathing Walt Whitman cliché, INFJs contain multitudes. Developing a friendship or relationship with an INFJ is like slowly peeling away an onion. You think you know them, but you turn around and they’re revealing another facet of their personality that doesn’t seem to align with their more cookie-cutter image.

You may see a scholarly and reserved INFJ get down on a dance floor with alarming ease, or a normally demure and quiet INFJ serve a savage clap back to someone who’s pissed them off. They can be both the class comedian and the highest achieving student. There isn’t a ‘box’ that contains their seemingly contradictory characteristics.

This is not because INFJs are duplicitous; in fact, they tend to be extremely genuine and authentic, veering on the edge of perhaps being too honest at times (unless they’re a narcissist, in which case, anyone of any personality type can be). Rather, it’s because INFJs have many layers to their personality that sometimes even they haven’t worked out! It can take years to get to know an INFJ; not because they’re deliberately hiding parts of themselves, but because they tend to take their time trusting people and revealing different facets of themselves along the way.

2. Although they are natural loners, they tend to get mistaken for extroverts; they love people, adapt well to social situations and can be the life of the party.

INFJs can be incredibly vivacious, humorous, fun-loving and energetic, especially with those they feel comfortable with. They definitely have a wild side which can shock those who stereotype them as button-down academics. However, just like any other introvert, they also need enormous amounts of time to recharge from being around others. Being alone for long periods of time is necessary for them to detox from social interactions and to reflect on their lives.

INFJs love disappearing inward, exploring deep philosophical questions and inventing things. Even a simple walk in the neighborhood can turn into a full-on imaginative fantasy scenario for them; there’s nothing they love more than taking refuge in their own minds. They can spend days pondering hypothetical scenarios or coming up with ideas. INFJs have such rich inner lives that they can imagine new worlds and new methods in the blink of an eye; being creative comes easily to these types.

It’s no surprise that the creator of the beloved Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling, is also an INFJ. They are also lovers of research and learning. Their intellectual complexity and imagination make them ideal candidates for careers that challenge them to create in some capacity or engage in innovation.

3. They’re incredibly compassionate, but it’s wise not to mess with them.

INFJs are often among the world’s changemakers. Famous INFJs are said to include Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa and Oprah – you get the picture. Their compassion for others drives their need to help the world and save it. But sometimes, INFJs also bear a remarkable ability to save themselves from toxic situations.

To put this ability into context, remember that INFJs are natural targets for toxic predators like malignant narcissists, who assume these sensitive types will succumb to their bullying behaviors. INFJs make up a large portion of survivor communities that are healing from violations like narcissistic abuse.

Yet what predators forget is that INFJs appear to be lambs, but they’re really lions. They are extremely compassionate, but they will defend themselves and others fiercely when they feel that their rights are being violated. If you’ve read anything about an INFJ, you’ve probably heard of the infamous “INFJ Door Slam.” This is what happens when these normally warm, gentle individuals meet with someone who causes them to ‘flip their switch’ so to speak.

The INFJ door slam is not a malignant trait; it’s a protective measure taken against chronic bullying and injustice.  It often occurs after numerous transgressions have already taken place (for example, when an INFJ meets someone who consistently talks down to them and treats them with contempt). In this type of scenario, the INFJ finally recognizes his or her worth and boundaries.

They face emotional overwhelm and they need to retreat – stat. In a flash, you see them depart and probably never hear from them again. Or, if they’re in the mood, they’ll serve you with an epic manifesto of your wrongdoings before leaving forever (after all, they do tend to be excellent communicators!).

Outwardly, INFJs may not be as overly bold and aggressive as other personality types, but when they bring the reckoning, they bring it with full force. You’ll never see an INFJ coming – and perhaps that’s a good thing, because they do tend to be on the front lines of massive social change.

4. They are extremely loyal and devoted, but they don’t like authority.

Don’t mess with the ones they love, either. INFJs hold a special place in their hearts for those they connect with and they will remember those who had their back during difficult times. That’s why, if they see someone being bullied or oppressed, especially someone they’ve bonded with, they will defend them with a righteous sense of devotion.

INFJs make loyal dating partners, friends, spouses, employees and parents, and their loyalty extends to social change too. They are the harbingers of revolution and the defenders of the outcasts, the bully victims, and the outliers. It’s because they themselves know what it’s like to not belong, so they seek to create refuge and safety for those like them.

However, the INFJ’s loyalty doesn’t necessarily extend to authority figures unless that authority figure is someone they admire and respect. Because they are naturally independent, strong-willed individuals with a high degree of intuition, they rely on their own sense of intuition to pave their path. They can sense when someone is working without integrity, and it makes them viscerally sick.

They can be stubborn and hard-nosed at times when it comes to bending to someone else’s will especially if it contradicts the strong moral values they hold dear.

In many cases, especially in circumstances where there is oppression or injustice, this can be a good thing. INFJs are idealists who work to bring justice into the world and sometimes going against authority is the perfect way to do so.However, INFJs must also learn how to balance their faith in their inner authority with the ability to respect other perspectives.

They could also benefit from letting themselves off the hook once in a while; their high standards of moral perfection are likely to falter under mental duress and human folly. While their intuition does bring them to great places, sometimes their way is not always the best way. The INFJ is still flawed and their high expectations of themselves and others could stand some reevaluation at times.

5. They are both scientific and driven by emotion.

The INFJ is an enigma in that he or she is not entirely driven by hard facts nor hot-headed emotion. They are a paradoxical package of both research and poetry, science and spirituality, intuition and statistics, art and dissertations. They are what I would call the “intellectual artists” of society, merging imagination and knowledge.

Able to see the big picture as well as the finer details, they are motivated by a need to serve others while also cultivating the potential of every individual. They can reach masses of people with their message but they can also change individual lives because they know how to connect one-to-one. This is perhaps what also make them great researchers, counselors, scientists, writers and teachers. They flourish in fields where they can be both creative and logical, individualistic and people-focused.

The magic is that while INFJs make for great orators and can inspire people with their words, they are also very practical and know how to bring about tangible results. Their mission always has a purpose of improving the state of society in some way. They practice what they preach and they help motivate people to live their best lives not just by words but by living example. When it comes to persuasive arguments, they’ll bring the receipts but they’ll also appeal to your pathos. Their ability to stir emotion in others and also appeal to their action-oriented side is what make them great leaders and catalysts for radical change.

6. They are highly intuitive, but have a tendency not to trust themselves.

A fully empowered INFJ is someone who can take one look at a situation, follow their instincts and say, “I just know.” For example, INFJs may know years ahead of time when the person their friend is dating is conniving, even when they present a false mask. They know how to read the energy of a room, even in a room full of people they’re meeting for the first time.

They know when someone is putting on a front. They can sense the aggression beneath someone’s niceties. The INFJ’s uncanny intuition is something other more seemingly “rational” personality types might dismiss, but in many cases, they really do know and they turn out to be right. This is because an INFJ’s intuition can catch on quickly to the nuances of every situation. They can see through the facades of others and they can sense when someone is not being authentic.

However, because they’ve been gaslighted for so long by a society that does not always appreciate their gifts and label them oversensitive, they’ve also learned to distrust their intuition and second-guess themselves, often. A challenge for the INFJ is re-learning how to fully trust in their inner voice while also leaving room for the constructive feedback of others.

The Big Picture

Being an INFJ is not easy, but INFJs can find a sense of community with others like them and those who appreciate their traits. Distancing oneself from toxic people and cultivating genuine relationships is key. When INFJs are supported and are able to grow in environments where their gifts are nurtured and seen, they can thrive and become incredibly revolutionary changemakers in society.

Here’s Why No One Wants To Date You, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type


You always want to be right.

Relationships are all about knowing when to hold onto something and when to let things go. Unfortunately, you don’t know the difference between being contrary and just being difficult until you get your way no matter how petty or unreasonable.


Your expectations are too high.

You dream big, but this means you have a tendency to project these plans onto people without actually figuring out if that would work or make sense.


You’re too private.

While your natural tendency of not talking about yourself is useful in some situations, like police interrogations, it’s not great in relationships. A relationship needs the input and cooperation of two people, not just one, especially for it to turn into a long-term partnership.


You’re self-absorbed.

You are probably the most self-absorbed type, if something’s not about you, you will either make it about you, or pout and, wait for it, make it about you. A relationship cannot be completely one-sided; where not only does the ESFJ focus entirely on themselves they also expect their partner to do the same.


You’re too uptight.

While it’s true that ISTJs are naturally fairly prim and proper it shouldn’t get to the point where you make an actual stick in the mud look like a party. You sometimes fence yourself in just because you’re scared and there’s nothing in your personal bylaws about what to do.


You put your partner last.

Literally, last. Like behind the lady in line ahead of you at Home goods last. You need to stop your endless race for achievement for five minutes sometimes to make sure your partner is still with you and not lost, wondering if they’re still even in a relationship with you.


You won’t stop trying to make a point of your intelligence.

While most INTPs are very smart, you care way too much about it. This can quickly go from charming to tiresome when you answer an offhand comment about lunch with an irrelevant TED talk on the Peloponnese War.


You fear losing your independence.

For such a typically outspoken personality type you have a hard time finding a way to express your feelings, fearing that your partner is going to, I don’t know, I guess stop you from fighting the guy who cut the line ahead of you at Subway.


You test people.

Because this type holds such a fear of wasting time, they can attempt to “put their worst foot forward” in an attempt to weed out anyone who “can’t handle them at their worst”. This has a tendency to not work because people figure that this is you at your best and assume you must wear people’s skin on your off-time.


You’re selfish.

You think you’re not, but the truth is, ENFPs are one of the most self-centered types. While you are good at making people feel cared for, people have a tendency to realize that you are doing those things mostly to convince yourself you are a good person.


You’re weak.

There is a difference between going with the flow and being so terrified of any pushback you just always stay silent. It’s okay to be shy, or even to pick your battles, but you can’t do it 100% of the time.


You’re a control freak.

Chill out for once in your life and stop trying to force everything to go your way. You have a powerful personality, but a relationship is a two way street, you can’t just expect the other person to do what you want and not ask questions.


You don’t like being in a relationship.

Your desire to multitask is not useful when it comes to being in a relationship, and your fear of commitment isn’t either. You can focus on something if you really want it, so maybe just stay single until you suddenly meet “the one”.


You have bad taste.

You are very empathetic, but this can mean you would probably date the Zodiac Killer and say he was misunderstood. Your dating history is filled with so many red flags your friends probably audibly groan when you say you’ve met someone.


 You are uncompromising.

Just because someone has a different opinion than you doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. You’re not a Roman emperor, people don’t have to agree with you and you are not automatically right.


You’re a flake.

It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who only seems to be 30% present when you’re talking to them. You are vivacious and fun when you want to be, so get your head out of the clouds and show up when you said you would for once.

The Disney Lyric That Explains You Best, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type


Everybody wants to be a cat because a cat’s the only cat who knows where it’s at. (“Everybody Wants to be a Cat” from The Aristocats)


I remember Daddy told me: “Fairytales can come true. You gotta make ’em happen, it all depends on you!” So I work real hard each and every day – now things for sure are going my way, just doing what I do. Look out boys, I’m coming through! (“Almost There” from The Princess and the Frog)


I have often dreamed of a far off place… Where a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be… I will find my way, I can go the distance! I’ll be there someday if I can be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong! (“Go the Distance” from Hercules)


If you’re ever lonely, stop! You don’t have to be. After all, it’s only a beat away from you to me… If we listen to each other’s heart, we’ll find we’re never too far apart. And maybe love is the reason why for the first time ever, we’re seein’ it I-2-I! (“I-2-I” from A Goofy Movie)


I’m gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware! // I’m gonna be the main event, like no king was before. I’m brushing up on looking down, I’m working on my roar! (“I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” from The Lion King)


Just do your best and then take a rest and sing yourself a song. When there’s too much to do, don’t let it bother you, forget your troubles. Try to be just like a cheerful chick-a-dee and whistle while you work. (“Whistle While You Work” from Snow White)


Tranquil as a forest but on fire within, once you find your center you are sure to win. (“I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan)


But behind that fair facade, I’m afraid she’s rather odd! // Look there she goes, that girl is strange but special! A most peculiar mademoiselle. (“Belle” from Beauty and the Beast)


Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide? // A whole new world, a hundred thousand things to see! (“A Whole New World” from Aladdin)


All my life I memorize their faces, knowing them as they will never know me. All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day not above them, but part of them. (“Out There” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame)


For one so small, you seem so strong. Why can’t they understand the way we feel? They just don’t trust what they can’t explain. Don’t listen to them, ’cause what do they know? (“You’ll Be in My Heart” from Tarzan)


Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through! No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true. (“A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Cinderella)


There you see her, sitting there across the way. She don’t got a lot to say, but there’s something about her. (“Kiss de Girl” from The Little Mermaid)


Within that world of my own, I could listen to a babbling brook and hear a song that I could understand. I keep wishing it could be that way because my world would be a wonderland. (“A World of My Own” from Alice in Wonderland)


Reindeers are better than people… ‘Cause people will beat you and curse you and cheat you. (“Reindeer are Better than People” from Frozen)


Heal what has been hurt, change the fates’ design. (“Healing Song” from Tangled)

This Is The Way To Make An INFJ Fall Madly In Love With You

Finding an INFJ might be the equivalent of trying to find a unicorn, but if you have found a quirk little weirdo you want to try and woo, here’s a list of how you can do just that. Do: Ask for her phone number. Don’t: Ply her with compliments. You don’t go around telling your best friend how lovely his eyes are every five seconds, do you? No, because you’re not trying to get in his pants. You’re not trying to sleep with her at this point, you’re trying to befriend her.

Do: Ask her questions. Don’t: Just ask her questions. If you can get her to open up, laugh, etc… then in her mind she is one step closer to getting what she wants. You, as the chaser, need to contribute, too. Do: Attempt to break the touch barrier by orienting yourself around her, go for a high five or show her a part of the secret handshake you and your brother made up when you were kids.

An INFJ is going to be conscious of her personal space so take this slow, but you should also be the one to initiate the contact in some way. You saying, “I’ve been feeling a bit out of it/sick lately” or whatever, should prompt her to put her hand on your forehead or your cheeks. Show her something on you, a scar on your hand or on your leg, but only as it may happen to pertain to the conversation. Don’t be gross, people.

Hugging might be a little more difficult though. Hugging is an advanced move at this stage, so proceed with caution. If you’re entering or leaving a place with a bunch of other people, give someone else a goodbye hug or a hello kiss on the cheek first then go for her. It will seem natural and a lot less forced if she sees you’re that way with everyone.

Don’t: Ask for a hug, that’s creepy. Don’t: Touch her unnecessarily. No hand on the small of her back, no hand on the knee, no wandering hands while dancing, etc… Just don’t be creepy. You want her to like you as a person first, not sign her other friends up to roadblock you when you try to talk to her. Do: Subtly let her know you are single, if she doesn’t know this already.

Don’t: Badmouth your ex, talk about “all you women,” or bemoan your single status. This will just make you look pathetic. Since INFJs so easily pick up on your emotions, this will be a drag. Do: Listen to her when she talks, go along with her when she says something weird or philosophical. INFJs love to talk about random stuff because their minds are always going. Make sure you can keep up or at least try too.

Don’t: Pretend to be someone you’re not. Nobody wants a pushover. She wants a friend who is going to expand her horizons. So if she says something stupid or takes a stance that you don’t agree with then be honest. She loves to hear different points of views and learn exactly how you came to such and such decision. Be honest, because even little lies that you think will placate her or make her like you more will not be tolerated.

Do: Tell her about your interests. If she likes you, she’ll show genuine interest in the things you like. Tell her about a show you really like or a book series. If she likes you, this is a good way to tell, because she will research and watch the heck out of that idiotic show, sports thing, or whatever you like because while it isn’t exactly her cup of tea, you are.

Do: Ask her to hang out one-on-one. And by that I mean something during the day. “You have great taste will you help me pick out a new couch for my living room?” “You like art, I’m stuck between these two pieces as a gift for my mom for her birthday.” “I need a new shirt, do you think you could meet me and help me choose?”

Is she active in the community? Find out where she volunteers, and ask if you could come along. You need help writing a song, painting your living room, puppy sitting, ask for her help, especially if it is in her area of expertise or interest so she can feel more in her element. INFJs will often feel compelled to help someone. They like being needed because so few people really take the time to listen to them.

Do: Share things with her. She’s interested in a book or a movie that you just so happen to own? Let her borrow it. She’s cold? Offer up your jacket. Your things are an extension of you, plus you can drop it off at her place or she can bring it back to yours, which equals more chitchat, more time to talk, more time to get to know each other one on one, etc… and it will also give you more stuff to talk about.


Do: Only see her. INFJs don’t like that kind of competition, and they will expect 100% loyalty even if you’re just kind of seeing each other. She needs to know that you are in this just as much or more than she is. Don’t: Try and make her jealous because she will think you have no interest in her, and will promptly drop you for being so fickle. Don’t try to make an INFJ jealous, just don’t, she will not respond like you want her to.

Do: Be serious with your affections. INFJs do not like flake people because that means that you are unsteady or flighty, and she just can’t deal with that. If she’s entertaining the idea of you then she’s thinking about something that’s going to last more than a couple of months. Typically, she doesn’t want a fling, but something more serious.

Do: Make sure that the steps you are making are okay with her. You should know her well enough by now to know what’s okay and what’s not okay. Use your head, and if you’re still having trouble ask her. Do: Make a move. Ask her out. Make sure she knows it’s a date, tell her how you feel and how she makes you feel. INFJs love the mushy junk, but only if it’s appropriate. Just go for it after that.

Here’s Exactly What’s So Lovable About Each Myers-Briggs Type


There’s something comforting about the person with a plan. With the majority of us running around like a chicken with our head cut off, you can’t help but love how you have a plan for just about anything. You are imaginative, but still strategic and focused. Simply put, you have your shit together.


I’d say that you’re pretty “woke.” You are always looking for more knowledge and you’re not afraid to challenge yourself. That’s what is so loveable about you. It’s incredibly sexy to watch someone who is hungry for knowledge and will search every nook and cranny to find it! Knowledge is power and you’re about as powerful as they come!


Oh, you beautiful leader, you. What is there not to love about a natural-born leader? You’re the type of person who is unstoppable. If you can’t find a way, you better believe you’re going to make one. You are bold and fierce. I wouldn’t be the one to try and stand in your way!


If I can be honest, some might see you as a bit of an asshole–but if I can be honest again, everyone loves at least one person who is a bit of an asshole. There’s something fulfilling about your witty, smarty-pants personality that you can’t help but love. You’re definitely up to debate and challenge just about anything that comes out of someone’s mouth, especially if you know you’re right.


You’re the silent assassin–not in a bad way though. You’re someone who can own a room without saying a word. You are inspiring and observant. Quiet, but bold. Your best quality is your mystique. You definitely leave people wanting to know more about you and that in itself is super desirable.


You’re trustworthy. You’re kind. There is never a time that you’re able to help and won’t. People can depend on you and that’s what is so lovable about you. It’s comforting to know that you’re someone people can lean on in a time of need and the best part? You’re humble!


You’re smooth. The way words slip through your lips, you can captivate any ears within reach. Your charisma is inspiring and to be honest, you’re sly in your ways because of it. You’re a persuader–and most of us hang on to your every word. There’s something so lovable about a cunning, charismatic leader.


You’re the free-spirit. Everyone loves your social, creative ways. It’s just about impossible to keep you down. You’re infectious and your energy is the best thing about you! Lovable is an understatement.


You’re serious, but we all need serious in our life. You are undoubtedly reliable, but you don’t play. There won’t be any foolishness at hand when you’re around. You find the facts and you stick to it. The most loveable thing about you is how secure people feel when you’re around.


You take care of your circle. Who can’t help but love the fearless protector of the group? You are dependable and dedicated to making sure you have the back of those you care about and the world knows it. You’re always ready to defend your loved ones.


You’re in charge. You’re good at managing life and everything involved in it. You run shit. Point blank, period.


You have qualities that coincide with some of the previously mentioned, but what is most lovable about you is your caring attitude. You are as social and easy-going as ENFP, but you’re generosity and compassion makes you the type of person who is ready to help in whatever way you can.


You’re a risk-taker and an explorer. That’s what’s so lovable about you. You believe that experience is the best teacher and when you practice any skill, you don’t stop until you’ve mastered it. You’re good with your hands and I’d bet you’re one of the best in bed!


You’re an artist. You see the world in color. You are lovable because you’re open–minded and ready to explore and share new experiences with those around you. You live life.


You’re smart. You make a way out of no way. The most loveable thing about you is the way “no” is never an answer to you. Like rushing water, you’re a force to be reckoned with! You’re soon to be the CEO of whatever prize you set your eye on.


People love you because they don’t know what to expect from you. You go with the flow and if it’s not flowing the way you want it to, you move on to the next current. You don’t allow people to dictate the way you live your life. You’re way to exotic to live a boring life.

4 Uncomfortable Things Only Extroverted Introverts Will Understand

1. Just Because We’re Quiet….Doesn’t Mean We Have Nothing To Say

It’s quite the opposite actually…we tend to be thinking much more than others! Extroverted introverts can not always control the flow of all their thoughts at once. We tend to think before we speak, and we think DEEPLY. At times extroverted introverts seem “quiet” or “uninterested”. In reality we are often the most intrigued. We do not always vocalize all our thoughts. Extroverted introverts are not the type to “think out loud”. We prefer to filter our ideas, before sharing. We may not always be “talking” the most, but we are always “thinking” the most.

2. There Is Something Sexy About Secrets

It’s not that we want to be private or exclusive. It’s just there is something “special” about having a secret. We would rather “listen to all…but talk to few”. It’s great if you are an open book! However, extroverted introverts are the type of people that like to save intimate thoughts with someone special. We have every capability of opening up, but to the RIGHT people.

3. We Are Known To Go MIA…

Don’t get upset…we do this to everyone. I am guilty of this myself. We love to research and put our whole heart in everything we do. Therefore we do not always make the best multitasks! If we are working on our thesis or studying for our exams…expect our phones to be on silent and be prepared to be ignored. Extroverted introverts are constant thinkers, we can not be distracted with emotions when we are trying to finish a task. I am sorry this seems insensitive, but we need to preserve our energy right now!

4. We Have A Weird Happy Place

We have this constant battle of wanting to be around people and wanting to be alone at the same time. Extroverted introverts always want to stay stimulated and motivated… and we want to share that with you! We want to read to you our favorite quote in a novel, and hear your thoughts! Extroverted introverts do not want to go into a loud crowded club and dance the night away. We want to have real genuine conversations about art, literature, and history. We want to be constantly evolving.

We do not want to get drunk and forget everything we did the next morning. We want to hear opinions, feedback, and feel support. We want something more real than a hangover. Our ideal best night would be a smaller house party. Somewhere we can enjoy a good talk or a fun game amongst close friends, or an intimate dinner party catching up with old friends. We want to be stimulated, but not overwhelmed. We may not always seem like the “life of the party”, but we can definitely light up a room.

Show Buttons
Hide Buttons