9 Unmistakable Signs You’re Dating An INTJ

INTJs are the rational, strategic planners of the Myers-Briggs world. They hold high personal standards for both themselves and others. This analytical type finds themselves drawn to relationships with other intuitive-dominant types who place a high value on intellectual exploration. If the person you’re dating exhibits most of the following behaviors, chances are you’ve got an INTJ on your hands.

1. They’re taking forever to make a move.

INTJs are not impulsive people. In fact, it could take them years to properly decide whether or not the two of you make sense together. First they have to discern whether or not they are attracted to you. Then they have to assess your suitability as a partner. Last but certainly not least (in terms of time allocation), they have to form an action plan regarding which steps they should take to win you over. This process doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a long-ass time for an INTJ to make a move but when they do, you can bet your ass they’re serious about it.

2. You feel a little bit like they’re studying you.

INTJs are interested in people – what makes them tick, what pushes their buttons and how they operate on a rational and emotional level. In the initial stages of getting to know an INTJ it can feel like they’re constantly analyzing you – most conversations are focused on you and you are constantly hearing the words “Interesting,” or “I see.” It takes a bit for the INTJ to shift the focus onto him or herself – they like to listen first and reveal their opinions second.

3. They don’t take well to changing plans.

If you’ve planned a dinner date with an INTJ on Friday, please – for the love of God – do not call them up Thursday night and say you’d rather go to a party. INTJs plan out their every move – they have probably been contemplating your date on Friday since Monday. Changing the plan at the last minute is offsetting to them – and will almost never go over well.

4. Sex is as mental as it is physical.

To the INTJ, arousal is not purely instinctual. Attraction begins in the mind and the best way to get them in the mood is to mention a sexual fantasy that gets them thinking – hard. INTJs are creative, kinky lovers who view some parts of sex as a challenge. They want to constantly improve their game and continually get their partner off in better, more creative ways. This type enjoys the mental connection that comes with sexual intimacy just as much as they enjoy the raw physical component.

5. They understand your motivations better than you do.

We all sugar coat our own core feelings – it’s how we stay emotionally stable. The INTJ, however, isn’t interested in sugar coating anything. They analyze people exactly as they are – the good, the bad and the downright terrifying. They’re often able to identify what it is that inspires and drives you on a level that even you aren’t aware of. It’s a little bit creepy at first but it becomes incredibly useful over time. Just go with it. They get you and that is (usually) a good thing.

6. They react best to direct communication.

INTJs have no patience for passive-aggressive comments or subtle remarks. If something is amiss in the relationship, they appreciate being told point-blank what is wrong and what the best course of action would be to fix it. INTJs want to maintain harmony in a relationship – they simply don’t care to achieve it through guesswork.

7. They don’t argue from their emotions.

To an INTJ, every conflict is a puzzle to be solved. Though they can get their feathers ruffled just like any other type, their first reaction is always to break down a given situation, analyze what is or isn’t working and strive to improve upon the existing method of operation. Sound a little technical? Because it is. INTJs use logic to deal with just about every component of their lives – which means they’re going to need a bit of reflection time before they can tell you how they feel about a conflict.

8. They do, however, experience surprisingly strong emotions.

Once an INTJ has decided that you are the partner for them, they become highly emotionally invested in the relationship. Though they aren’t always the masters of showing it, INTJs are emotional – even romantic – at heart. They show their love by devoting themselves to the relationship and by tirelessly working to improve it.

9. When it ends, they need closure.

INTJs are balanced out by Ne dominant types – that is, ENFPs and ENTPs. The tricky part of this equation is that both types are a little less relationship-oriented than the serious INTJ. When a partner leaves the relationship with little warning, the INTJ has a difficult time moving on until they can fully understand the cause for the upheaval. Relationships are a puzzle just like everything else and the INTJ wants to solve it before they can finally put it to rest.

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Here Is What Your Ex Still Misses About You, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type


Nobody can get the wheels of their partner’s mind turning quite the way an INTJ can. When you break up with someone, they miss the alternate perspectives and intellectual depth that you brought to their life. It’s likely that nobody has challenged their thinking in quite the same way you did, and they miss the deep, drawn-out conversations they’d share with you. Something about every partner since you has left them feeling just a little intellectually underwhelmed.


It’s no secret that dating an ENTP is one of the most chaotic but exciting experiences anyone can undertake. Since you left their lives, your ex misses the intensity and adventure you brought to it every day. Nobody has forced them to think, pushed them to grow and led them outside of their comfort zone in quite the same way you used to, since you left. And if they’re being honest with themselves, they miss it like hell. Other partners pale in comparison to the energy you brought to their everyday lives.


In a world full of overly-dramatic daters, your exes miss the relaxed attitude and genuineness you brought to the relationship. Instead of focusing on petty day-to-day concerns, you opened up your ex’s world to new ways of thinking and doing just about everything. They miss the new perspectives you brought to their lives and the low-pressure attitude you applied to the relationship.


When you have an ENTJ on your side, you are always batting for the winning team – and your ex misses being on that team like hell. Never did they feel as secure, protected and vouched for as they did when they were with you. Your ex misses the confidence and capability you brought into their lives – nobody since has made them feel quite as secure as you did.


Let’s not beat around the bush – once you date an ESTP, everyone else you date seems boring. Your exes miss the crazy adventures you’d drag them along on, the goofy humor you’d bring to their everyday life and the capable attitude you’d use to tackle both their problems and your own. Nobody else has caught your ex off guard and swept them off their feet in quite the same way as you once did.


In a world full of high-maintenance lovers, your exes miss the laid-back attitude and genuineness you brought to the relationship. You mean everything you say to your partners, and it’s an incredibly refreshing trait. Since getting back in the dating game, your ex has been missing your no-nonsense attitude – everyone else seems to be highly invested in the games that you never opted to play.


Nobody will ever make their partners feel quite as cared for and protected as an ESTJ. Your exes miss the attentiveness and devotion you brought to the relationship – everything you did to pursue and keep them was deliberate and intentional. In a world full of flakey and inconsistent partners, your exes miss having you to lean and rely on.


In a dating culture that’s all but devoid of morality, your ex desperately misses the integrity and consistency you bring to your relationships. You treated them with the exact respect and devotion that everybody else in the dating scene seems to be lacking – and after every flakey date they go on, it’s you their mind ends up drifting back to.


Nobody – and I mean nobody – genuinely cares about your happiness and wellbeing the way an ISFJ partner does. Your ex may be moving on, but you can rest assured that at the end of every bad date and ambiguous hookup, it’s you who their mind drifts back to. They miss the strength, stability and comfort of being with you. You were attentive to their needs in a way that nobody else has been since the two of you broke up – and they miss that devotion like hell.


Dating an ESFJ means dating someone who will go to almost any measure to let you know how much you mean to them. Nobody has shown your ex quite the amount of care, patience and affection as you did since the two of you broke up. They miss the way you prioritized the hell out of them in a way that nobody else has since you broke up.


When an ISFP falls in love, the object of their affection becomes their muse and inspiration – and your ex misses the passion you brought to the relationship like hell. Nobody makes their partners quite feel as valued, adored and seen as an ISFP. You were the first one to compassionately respond to every problem that plagued them and they miss the mix of empathy and inspiration that you brought to their lives every day.


There’s nothing quite as exciting or validating as being with an ESFP. You were the light of your ex’s world and they miss the positivity and excitement you brought to their lives every day. Since the two of you broke up, they’ve yet to find anyone who shines quite as brightly as you do. And they miss that luminosity constantly.


Dating an ENFP guarantees that no two days are ever quite the same – and your exes miss the enthusiastic variety you’d bring to their day-to-day life. Since you parted ways, their life has lost the inexplicable sparkle that you always brought into it. Your positivity and inventiveness lit their world up – in a way that nobody since you has been able to match.


When an INFP loves you, you become both a muse and a work of art. Your ex misses the intensity, passion and depth that you brought to their lives. Nobody else has ever loved them with quite the ferocity that you did – and in a world full of superficial people, they miss your authenticity and depth something terrible.


Let’s be serious – you were your ex’s unofficial therapist. And nobody has been there to support and counsel them in quite the same way since the two of you broke up. Your ex desperately misses the warmth, strength and solidarity that you brought to their lives. With you, they were going into every battle with emotional backup. And when life gets them down, it’s still you they miss – no matter how long it’s been since you broke up.


You are one thoroughly complex human being – and everyone’s seemed shallow and uninteresting since you and your ex split up. You introduced your partners to a new way of thinking about just about everything – and since you did so, it’s been hard for them to go back to making small talk. No matter how interesting a new partner is, they never quite live up to the ways in which you challenged your ex intellectually.

Article By Heidi Priebe

Here Is Your Mental Age, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

ENFP – 21

No matter how old you become, you maintain the drive, enthusiasm and passion of someone who is just coming into his or her own. You are young at heart but old in spirit – you may best be described as 21 going on 90. You have the energy of someone much younger than yourself but the wisdom of someone much older.

INFP – 60

No matter what your biological age is, you were born as and remain an old soul. You have been questioning the greater truths about life for as long as you can remember, but your wisdom is supported by an inherently youthful sense of curiosity that drives you to explore each issue from multiple different angles. You may best be best described as 60 going on 6 – you have the sagacity of someone much older than yourself but the insatiable curiosity of someone much younger.

ENFJ – 40

You’ve always naturally assumed the role of the wise mentor to those in your life. Your mental prowess resembles that of someone who is old enough to make decisions rationally and compassionately, yet young enough to execute them with an idealistic sense of enthusiasm. Your “Mother Hen” role in others’ lives plants you at the beginning of middle-age, mentally. You have a youthful energy backed up by an indisputable well of wisdom.

INFJ – 90

Chances are, some part of you has always felt older than those around you. You dwell eternally in the deep end of life – questioning its nature and meaning in depth, while remaining endlessly patient with those around you. You have the empathy and insight of someone much older than yourself – you are a natural sage, regardless of your biological age.

ESFP – 16

It’s not that you lack the maturity or depth of your true biological age – it’s just that you embody the enthusiastic spirit of someone much younger than yourself. You are ceaselessly open to life in every facet. You work hard, play hard, love hard and live hard. Regardless of how old you become, you maintain the effervescent energy of someone much younger than yourself and it’s refreshing to everyone around you.

ISFP – 23

They say your early to mid twenties are your peak creative years – but for you, your entire life is your peak creative years. Possessing the insight of someone much older than yourself but the youthful creative energy of someone much younger, your age might best be described as “23 going on 60.”

ESFJ – 30

You’re bubbly, energetic and lively but also mature, responsible and organized – embodying all the qualities of someone who has grown confidently into young adulthood. They say our early thirties are our prime years – when we are old enough to have established ourselves, yet young enough to enjoy good health. And if you’re anything, it’s confident and established. You’ve always possessed the focus and maturity of a true adult, with the warmth and energy of someone much younger.

ISFJ – 65

You’ve always felt a little out of sorts around people your own age – like some part of you would rather be at home, baking cookies with your cat, than out at a wild rager. You were born with the mentality of a calm, collected adult and it hasn’t wavered much over the years. You know old age will be your time to shine. You’ll be the best gran or grandpa on the block.

ENTJ – 55

The age of the average Fortune 500 CEO is 55 so it seemed only natural that this age would suit you best. For the majority of your life you’ve possessed the confidence, diligence and decisiveness of someone much older than yourself – and by middle age your body will finally catch up with the maturity of your mind. 55 may just be your time to shine… but who are we kidding. Your whole life is your time to shine.

INTJ – 80

INTJs seem to mentally age at twice the rate of most other types. Their lifelong quest for knowledge means they advance intellectually in leaps and bounds – they have little patience for the constraints of youth and tend to befriend adults from the time they are young. This type has the wisdom of an old soul and the unconquerable thirst for knowledge that keeps them growing and expanding well beyond their years.

ENTP – 24

You have the innovative spirit of an idealistic child mixed with the professional savviness of an assertive adult – landing you squarely in the ‘young adult’ age bracket, mentally. No matter how old you get, you retain the adventurous, opportunistic nature of someone much younger than yourself, combined with the resourceful capability of someone much older.

INTP – 45

Of all the types, INTPs may be the most difficult to fit into a particular mental age. This type has the intellectual capacity and decisiveness of someone much older than themselves combined with the insatiable curiosity of a very young child. This type may best be described as “45 going on 3.” Their unique way of perceiving the world renders them ageless in many ways – they may be totally inept at ‘adulting’ but intellectually gifted from a young age.

ISTJ – 50

ISTJs are born responsible. This type takes their commitments direly seriously and possesses almost no trace of youthful mischievousness. They often feel older than their peers, even as children, and long to reach an age at which they will finally be taken seriously by their peers. Middle age suits the ISTJ well – they are still physically capable of getting things done, while finally being old enough to receive the respect they deserve.

ESTJ – 45

ESTJs combine the playful, gregarious spirit of a young college bro with the responsibility and diligence of a fully-formed adult. This type is obsessively professional and capable – they enjoy middle age as a time where they have earned the respect of their peers yet are still in good enough health to be able to push their own limits.

ESTP – 18

ESTPs are the straight-shooting rule-breakers of the world, who never fully lose their rebellious teenage spirit. This type retains the energy and enthusiasm of a young adult no matter how old they get. They won’t be held back by the world around them – they get what they want when they want it and just try telling them otherwise.

ISTP – 22

ISTPs are in their prime when they are at their physical peak – usually in their early twenties. This type has a devilishly rebellious spirit that relishes in sensory delights. And yet they do possess the capability and responsibility of a quasi-adult at any age. 22 truly does seem to suit this type, as an age at which they are able to live life on their own terms but are not yet bothered by the societal expectations of adulthood.

Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her new book available here.

Article By

Heidi Priebe

Here’s Why You’re So Obsessed With Myers-Briggs, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type


You love exploring controversial theories and you love people. So did someone mention a CONTROVERSIAL THEORY ABOUT PEOPLE?! You’re there. And you’re delighted by the opportunity to examine why your mind functions so differently from other’s. Because let’s be serious, you’ve felt a tad bit crazy your whole life.


You love deepening your understanding of the self and the human psyche. The MBTI provides you with insights about the way your mind works AND it explains why you’ve felt so, well, different than everybody else for the majority of your life. Before, you just assumed you were alone in the emotional deep end. Now, you know there are a bunch of other INFPs down there with you. They’re just keeping quiet for the most part.


Your life’s mission is to understand others in order to help them – and the MBTI is practically a field guide for doing just that. By understanding what motivates, drives and comforts others, you’re able to work out how to approach and mentor people most effectively. Could you have dreamed up a better system?


You ache to understand those around you, yet you’ve always felt so, well, different from other people. The MBTI provides you with a brilliant tool for both understanding (and therefore managing) yourself in a superior manner, as well as understanding (and therefore interacting with) others in a more meaningful way. It simultaneously encompasses all the things you value most in life. Score.


You’re willing to give almost any controversial theory the time of day – and the MBTI qualifies as one of those theories. You’re both appalled and delighted by the opportunity to place something as chaotic as the human psyche into sixteen distinct categories. At the end of the day you think it’s probably not an all-encompassing system – but you’re willing to entertain the mental gymnastics of trying to fit everyone you know into it anyway.


Alright, you’ll admit it – you initially thought the MBTI was bullshit. It wasn’t until you took 85 different tests, studied the cognitive functions and carefully examined the MBTI’s origins that you were finally willing to accept it as a useful categorization system. You now find it helpful to understand which perceptions are coloring people’s understanding of the world. It helps you to have a logical system of reference for something as astoundingly illogical as people.


Knowledge is power. Knowledge of people is especially powerful. By understanding what is influencing and driving those around you, you’re able to gain a more comprehensive idea of whom you’re dealing with, both in your business and personal life. Which means you’re able to make more accurate predictions about their behaviors. Which means you’re able to make more reliable plans. And you’re all about those reliable long-term plans!


Your natural intellect is undeniable when it comes to just about any subject – except for people. People are largely a mystery to you, as it became clear to you early on in life that most of them think quite differently than you do. The MBTI provides you with a simple, no-nonsense guide to understanding the perceptions of others, AND it provides you with workable tips and tools for better communicating with them. It’s the ‘how-to’ manual on people that you always wanted but never got. Huzzah!


You’re a people-person, through and through. You want nothing more than to relate, inspire and help those around you, which means it helps you to understand them as best as you possibly can. And the MBTI is a fun, intellectual tool for doing just that. You love having one more trick up your sleeve that helps you to connect with and relate to others. Not that you needed a ton of help in that department!


You’ve always felt a little more sensitive than everyone around you – and you’ve always wondered exactly why that is. The MBTI provides you with a tool for understanding the minds of people who think vastly differently than you do – and to help you understand that just because someone’s approach is harsh, their intentions may still be pure. It helps you to see the best in others, and to appreciate the best in yourself, too.


Your dream is to be able to connect with and support the people around you as fully and completely as possible – but in order to do that, you first have to understand exactly what it is that those people need. The MBTI is like a giant cheat sheet, telling you how to support and care for everyone in your life. Which is basically your dream come true.


You’re all about memorizing the intricacies and details of what the people around you need in order to be happy – and the MBTI provides you with a whole new level of insight. By understanding how your loved ones’ minds function, you’re able to understand how to best cater your behavior to support them. And the better you can support them, the happier you are.


For the most part, you’re too busy living your life to worry much about personality systems. But you do appreciate a good, comprehensive system for understanding just about anything and the MBTI provides you with exactly that – a framework for making sense of people in a clear, no-nonsense manner.


For the most part, you’re more interested in how the world works than how people work. But, you ARE a fan of pretty much any internally consistent system – so the MBTI agrees with you in that respect. Plus, as an inferior Fe-user, it’s helpful for you to have a clear explanation of each type, so you can understand how to best relate to them (and how to not accidentally offend them).


Of all the types, you’re probably the most likely to use the MBTI in the workplace. You see it as a tool for helping yourself and your coworkers optimize their work performance, and to help you form successful teams. You may not have an intrinsic interest in the MBTI but you see and appreciate its applicability.


Of all the types, you may be the most resistant to the MBTI. That being said, you can appreciate its usefulness if you have a specific reason to employ it – perhaps to better understand a spouse or to work more efficiently with a team. As with anything, if it works, you see no reason not to use it.

Article By Heidi Priebe


Who You Should Date Based On Your Myers Briggs (MBTI) Type

Everyone has been through their share of not-so-good relationships. In some cases we find we are repeating the same horrible habits, and just continuously picking the wrong people. Here is the type of person we think you should date, according to your Myers Briggs type.



Someone who cares about you, as much as you care about them. Someone who will never take you for granted and who allows you to be yourself, even if they don’t understand you completely. You need someone who you can trust, and who will never intentionally hurt you.


Someone who is capable of making you feel loved and cared for. Someone who is capable of taking charge if necessary and who will surprise you with romantic gestures.


Someone who can keep you grounded and show you the reality of the world. Someone who will be your anchor and be completely dependable for you. You need a person who will protect you if need be, but who shows you how to protect yourself as well. Someone who shows you how to temper your expectations, but always strives to impress you.


Someone who will beat you at your own game and keep you interested. Someone you can depend on to be there for you, but who also doesn’t give into you when you feel like being demanding. You need someone who can bring excitement to your life, but you can show you that relaxing can also be nice.



Someone who is very intelligent but can force you to live in the moment. Someone who can force you to accept your own emotions without trying to make sense of them.  You need someone who help you to experience passion without logic, but who can also listen to your logical rants without falling asleep.


Someone that you can take care of and instruct on how to live their life, but who also is capable of keeping your ego in check. You need someone who doesn’t let you get out of hand and helps you be more in touch with others emotions. Someone who can teach you how to be more sensitive to other peoples feelings.


Someone who can keep you grounded and teach you how to live in the present moment. Someone who will help you open up and be comfortable with your own emotions (as well as others). Someone who makes you feel valued and intelligent, but who also keeps you from trying to find a logical answer to your emotions.


Someone who is capable of standing up to your strong will. A person who has a sense of purpose and doesn’t let you overshadow them. You need a person who is always willing to grow and who wants to grow with you.



Someone who can pull you out of your shell and force you to accept the messy bits of life. You need someone who can teach you that taking risks and breaking the rules can be fun sometimes.


Someone who is capable of standing up to you if need be. Someone who allows you take to take charge but can put you in your place when you become too headstrong.


Someone who forces you to relax and care about your own welling being. Someone who enjoys you taking care of them, but doesn’t need you to. You need someone who can teach you how to worry less and go with the flow.


Someone who CAN live without you, but doesn’t want to. You need to stop searching for people who NEED you and find someone who is independent and helps you consider your own emotions once in a while. You need someone who makes you feel appreciated because they know you care.



Someone who understands how to give you space, but also forces you to show affection more. Someone who doesn’t allow you to push them away even when you try. You need the person who forces you out of your own head and shows you how to accept emotion.


Someone who doesn’t take your occasional stream of bull****. Someone who is very intelligent and can stand up to your know-it-all attitude. You need a person who will help keep you from taking too many risks, but who allows you to be yourself and can also keep you excited.


Someone who supports you completely and is capable of getting inside of your mind. Someone who helps you break outside of your introverted shell and who accepts your vulnerability.


Someone who can handle your spontaneity and allow you to be yourself, but who also keeps you in line. Someone who can help you organize your sometimes messy life and take things more seriously.

What Exhausts Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type

ENTP – Routine

ENTPs live to alter, adjust, and improve on the mundane. This highly inventive type loves nothing more than to try out new ways of doing things – asking them to adhere to a strict routine (without altering it) is asking them to slowly drain themselves of energy. This type needs novelty the way they need water and air.

INTP – Emotional Demands

It’s not that INTPs don’t have emotions – it’s that they have trouble accessing them on demand, and often need a great deal of time to sort through how they’re feeling. If they are asked to consistently access and act upon their emotions, the INTP will quickly become drained. They need to examine a situation from absolutely all angles before they can decide what they think or feel about it. Knee-jerk emotional responses are anything but their forte.

ENTJ – Complaining

If there’s anything that exhausts and frustrates an ENTJ, it’s people who complain without taking action. This no-nonsense type thrives on getting things done quickly and efficiently. When the process gets held up by people who want to agonize over their feelings first and act second (or not at all), the ENTJ quickly loses energy. When held back from getting things done, this type becomes quickly frustrated.

INTJ – Improvisation

INTJs are the ultimate planners – they ruthlessly map out how they’re going to behave in future situations and glean energy from determining the best of all possible approaches. Though they are capable of improvising when need be, the INTJ will rapidly lose energy if they must act without deliberating for a significant period of time. They are big-picture thinkers, and they need to put everything into perspective before they feel completely comfortable taking action.

ISTJ – Unpredictable Situations

ISTJs thrive on acting in an efficient, no-nonsense manner – which means that having a well-ordered environment is crucial to them. Being in a situation that is unpredictable or disorganized is stressful for the ISTJ as it robs them of the ability to plan in a straightforward manner. Chaos and disorder is incredibly draining for this put-together type.

ESTJ – Ambiguity

ESTJs see the world in a direct, clear-cut manner. They enjoy planning and executing plans in as efficient a fashion as possible, which means they need the most applicable, concrete information available. When that information is not available – because they are in an inherently ambiguous situation – the ESTJ becomes quickly drained trying to figure out which information they should act on. They rapidly lose energy when their ability to be efficient is infringed upon.

ISTP – Neediness

ISTPs are incredibly independent creatures who require a great deal of alone time in order to thrive and gain energy. When others place excessive demands on their time and resources, the ISTP becomes quickly drained. This type needs to do things on their own time and in their own way – constantly yielding to someone else’s needs wears them down quickly.

ESTP – Inaction

ESTPs are action-oriented to a fault. This type sees a direct course of action between themselves and whatever they want – and the inability to take it drives them crazy. If they are forced to reflect rather than act for an extended period of time, the ESTP becomes drained. They gain energy from doing – not from thinking about doing.

ENFP – Predictability

ENFPs thrive on the excitement of not knowing what comes next. This wildly imaginative type gains energy through speculating about the future and planning what could and might come next. Consequently, this type is drained by routine and predictability. When their options are limited and they don’t have a challenge to rise to, the ENFP becomes exhausted and lifeless.

INFP – Unimaginativeness

The wild imagination of the INFP is rivalled by none – this type gains energy by taking ordinary situations and turning them into something extraordinary in their minds. Consequently, when the INFP is forced to reason in a dull, impersonal and uninventive fashion, they quickly lose energy. To this imaginative type, what could be is always more exciting than what is.

INFJ – External Conflict

INFJs are natural counselors and moderators – but that doesn’t mean it is their favorite skill to practice. When this type experiences a high amount of conflict in their external environment, they feel compelled to put their energy towards resolving it. When the conflict extends for a long period of time, they will become drained by overextending themselves and will feel the intense need to withdraw. A calm, peaceful environment is what this type truly needs to thrive.

ENFJ – Impersonal Reasoning

ENFJs understand – perhaps better than any other type – that we are all connected. Asking them to take people or emotions out of a decision is borderline impossible for this type – they automatically perceive how any given situation will impact everyone involved. If they are asked to reason in an impersonal manner for an extended period of time, this type will become quickly drained. They live to help, motivate and care for those around them – not to reason them out of the picture.

ISFJ – Inconsistent People

ISFJs thrive on nurturing and caring for their loved ones. But when the people in their lives are behaving inconsistently, it makes it difficult for the ISFJ to understand how to harmonize with them. The inability to make sense of those they love is highly stressful for the ISFJ and it rapidly drains them of energy.

ISFP – Conformity

ISFPs are the ultimate free spirits. This imaginative type likes to put their own creative spin on whatever they do, and being denied the chance to do so is exhausting for them. Being forced to conform to a uniform, no-nonsense way of doing things is suffocating for the ISFP, and will rapidly drain them of energy.

ESFP – Isolation

ESFPs are all about the ‘people possibilities’ that exist in their external environment – they thrive on meeting and getting to know others. When robbed of the opportunity to do so, the ESFP loses energy quickly. They need to be social to be happy – isolation is their quickest path to energy loss.

ESFJ – Emotional Unavailability

ESFJs crave emotional connections with others. Though the ‘emotionally unavailable’ thing may look like a juicy challenge in the short-term, it bleeds them of energy in the long-term. This type thrives on taking care of the people they love and if they are unable to get past a cold exterior and determine what exactly that other person needs, they will feel emotionally unfulfilled and drained.

Article By

Heidi Priebe

Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her new book available here.

Why The Modern Dating Scene Is Driving You Batshit Crazy, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type


You like to plan an average of ten thousand years into the future – and your dating life is no exception. You aren’t interested in casual flings or “hanging out to see where things go.” You want to know as soon as possible whether the person you’re dating has long-term potential – which is hard to decipher through a Netflix and Chill sess. In a world where social interaction is already too nuanced for your liking, you’re tired of trying to root out who’s going to be in it for the long haul with you versus who’s just messing around.


You have the practice of loving down pat – you know how to connect with people quickly, how to shower them with adoration, how to form long-lasting relationships and how to keep them healthy and strong… but the modern dating game is now asking you suppress your feelings(???) and to not care(???) These are foreign concepts to you. You care 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 months a year. Pretending that you’re nonchalant is torture, and the pressure to act totally chill all the time in modern dating is absurd to you.


Sorry, the modern dating game requires you to NOT get emotionally invested right away? Haha nope… that’s not an option for you. When you care, you care all the way – one hundred percent, with nothing in between. You can feign disinterest for days, but when you genuinely like someone your imagination runs away on you – and you’re suddenly picturing your wedding dress, your children’s names, and the entire badass life you’d spend together. You’d turn it off if you could but at the end of the day, that’s just how your mind functions. Trying to act chill feels excruciatingly inauthentic to you.


Dating is a massive, colossal, inefficient waste of your time. Sure you want to enjoy your life alongside somebody wonderful, but you aren’t interested in dealing with the petty trivialities of dating. You wish finding a partner could be as simple as conducting an interview – asking a few key questions, assessing suitability for the position and then agreeing to engage in a mutually beneficial (that is, loving) relationship from that point forward. Wouldn’t that just make more sense?


It’s not that you’re heartless or detached – it’s really not. It’s just that you genuinely have a difficult time understanding what the hell potential partners want or need from you – and somehow you always end up accidentally neglecting one of their needs. The amount of subtleties you’re expected to pick up on while dating drive you mad – you just want a partner who says what they mean and means what they say – but that’s a hard thing to come by in the modern dating world.


You absolutely love having options – but there’s a point at which options become option paralysis. With a never-ending number of profiles to swipe through, bars to frequent, apps to download and dates to go on, your ‘greener grass syndrome’ is quick to spiral out of control. Sure, the date you went on tonight was fun, but what about that cute guy you’ve been chatting with on Tinder? What if he’s THE ONE? You simply HAVE to see that date through… and then the next one… and the next one…


Let’s cut to the chase – you aren’t here to mess around. You know what you want out of a partner and it’s a consistent, mutual relationship – not the indecisive, drama-heavy mess that is the modern dating scene. If you’re being totally honest, you wish you could date the way your parent’s generation did – by following a set of courteous guidelines that made both people feel safe, respected and admired. Your interest in ‘playing the field’ is zero. You’re only interested in dating people who’ll show you the same respect and devotion that you’ll show them.


There’s nothing you love more than meeting new people and sharing new experiences with them. In many ways the dating game suits you… but in other ways, you cannot make head or tail of it. What should be a fun and relaxed experience (getting to know someone new) has suddenly turned into a minefield of rules, regulations and fouls. You can’t possibly be bothered to memorize all the current rules that come along with the modern dating game – so you pay as little attention to them as possible, and just hope to eventually meet someone who’s on the same page.

Here’s How You Are In Bed Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type


You don’t enjoy sex if you don’t have an emotional connection with your partner. That being said, you connect emotionally with just about everyone you meet so this isn’t really a problem for you. You’re a warm and enthusiastic lover who enjoys exploring all facets of their sexuality. You don’t NEED sex in the physical sense of the word but as soon as you meet someone you’re excited about, it is ON. In whatever weird new way you can think of.


You get off on making other people happy so when you’re in a committed relationship, your sex drive is through the roof. You err on the conventional side sexually but that’s not necessarily a bad thing – you’re a giver in life and a giver in the bedroom. Y’all hate to ever disappoint.


You see sex as a challenge (Okay you see everything as a challenge). You want to be constantly improving sexually and consistently finding new ways to make the experience more intense for both yourself and your partner (Edging must have been invented specifically for and by the INTJs). The flip side of this highly mental game is that you can occasionally let loose during sex – you enjoy the rare opportunity to temporarily detach from your over-active mind and let your physical impulses take over. It’s not often your brain gets a break – sex can occasionally provide that outlet.


You approach sex the way you approach everything else – loudly, proudly and as a prime opportunity to flex your muscles. You take a great deal of enjoyment in sex but don’t focus much on connection. Can you last forever? Yes. But do your partners kind of feel like you’re just masturbating using their body? Also yes.


You guys put the love in lovemaking. Potential partners need to know that for you, sex is never strictly a physical affair. Getting it on is a matter of connecting emotionally with whomever you’re sleeping with, which is why the INFP/ENFJ duo is dynamite. The only thing you guys love more than romantic intimacy is reflecting on said intimacy once it’s over. You want a partner whose lovin’ makes you feel something.


Does the idea of having sex in a pre-determined position with a consistent partner at exactly 9pm on every Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday evening appeal to you? You must be an ISTJ. This type sees sex as a systematic part of any healthy relationship. While you do intrinsically enjoy doing the nasty (Who doesn’t?), you’re not keen to try anything crazy. People sleep with you when they want a predictably good time.


You enjoy the physical component of sex much more so than the romantic/intimate portion. You’re highly visual and are turned on by immediately apparent stimuli – think lingerie, perfume, a swanky hotel suite that begs you to have sex in it. You’re not into anything too crazy sexually but you’re open to trying different things. You can err on the promiscuous side but if it requires work, forget it. You can masturbate alone. No issue there.


You’re a warm, affectionate lover who wants to make your partner happy above all else. You see sex as a concrete opportunity to show your partner how you feel about them and want to make sure that everyone’s enjoying him or herself throughout. Sex can occasionally feel like a chore, but you don’t mind getting it on if you’re not in the mood so long as it makes your partner happy. You’re sexually traditional but you make up for it in enthusiasm.


You have a hard time getting out of your head in bed. You need to feel a high level of comfort with a partner before you’re able to be intimate with them, emotionally or physically. That being said, once you come out of your shell, you get freaky (in a good way). You like to experiment and you enjoy when a partner exposes you to new ways of doing things. INTPs go through long periods of celibacy but are all in once someone gets them going.


Your goal is first and foremost to accommodate the person you’re sleeping with. Sex is an opportunity to physically display your love so it’s best with someone you’re involved with and committed to. You’re not naturally a freak in the sheets but whatever your partner is interested in you’re up for (within reason). You want to experience connection and show devotion to your partner, which sex offers a perfect opportunity for.


Like most N-dominant types, you can be described as borderline sapiosexual. You don’t just want to fuck someone’s body – you want to delve in deep and fuck their mind. You’re turned on by the strange, the intelligent, the lustful and the downright kinky. The stranger and more perverted the fantasy, the better. You’re the reason why kink websites exist.


You believe that actions speak louder than words, which means that a great way to show someone how much you care about them is to give them the good lovin’. You’re the very definition of sensual and you’re as physically creative in bed as you are in all other pursuits. Your partners feel appreciated, wanted and satisfied. Good work.


You’re direct about what you want, which is great. You’re also athletic, interactive, engaged – all objectively good things when it comes to sex. Just remember that unlike sports, sex has an emotional component to it. If you’re not checking in with your partner to make sure they’re comfortable and enjoying him or herself, you’re not going to score more than once.


Is someone looking for a dominant, Christian Grey-style lover? Everyone knows that you’re the one to call. You’re imaginative and explorative in the bedroom, remaining highly receptive to your partner’s desires. Nothing pleases you more than knowing that your partner went on a unique, relatively kinky sexual journey – and that it was you who led them there fearlessly.


You take a while to get physical. Before you get it on with someone you want to trust them, understand them, and connect with them on a core level. You aim to please in the bedroom, making sure your partner is eternally comfortable and happy around you. The best sex is intimate, passionate sex between two people who connect on a mental – borderline spiritual – level. Give you that and you’re a firecracker in the bedroom.


You win at sex. First of all you have extroverted sensing paired with introverted feeling, which basically means that you ooze sexuality. You place a high emphasis on the satisfaction of your partner, you’re incredibly open-minded and your sheer set of physical/sexual skills is unmatchable. Simply put, you’re amazing in bed. Gold star. You’re the holy grail of sexual partners and don’t you ever forget it.

Article By

Heidi Priebe

What Each Myers-Briggs Type Does At A Party

ENFP – Makes BEST FRIENDS FOREVER with everyone they talk to for five minutes.

INFP – Tells everyone at the party how much they love them and then drunk dials their ex and cries.

ISTJ – Stays mostly sober and low-key judges everyone else for acting like a drunken idiot.

ESFP – Table dances.

ENFJ – Frantically scans the room for anyone who looks lonely, then introduces him or her to every single person at the party.

INFJ – Reluctantly holds a counseling session in the bathroom with some drunk girl they don’t know.

ESFJ – Tells everyone else’s secrets.

ISFJ – Spends the evening holding back the hair of whichever of their friends starts puking first.

ISFP – Secretly hooks up with someone in the basement.

ESTP – Gets into a bar fight.

ISTP – Decides it would be fun to Unicycle on the roof and ends up in the hospital.

ESTJ – Makes boisterous, usually offensive jokes to anyone who’s willing to listen.

ENTJ – Networks the shit out of the party and wakes up with fourteen competitive job offers.

ENTP – Spurs a massive argument then leaves.

INTP – Smokes too much weed and wanders off from the party, accidentally ending up in the next town over.

INTJ – Takes scheduled hydration breaks in an attempt to reduce the impact of their inevitable morning-after hangover.

Article Written By Heidi Priebe

Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her new book available here.

How Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type Is Likely To Die

INTP: Accidentally sets themselves on fire in a freak science experiment. Starts taking notes about the fire’s rate of burning and consequently forgets to put it out.

ESTP: Tries base jumping without any training because it looked straight-forward enough.

INFJ: Starves to death in a hunger strike to raise awareness about the dire state of society.

ENFJ: Meets another ENFJ and accidentally crushes each other from hugging too aggressively.

INFP: Accidentally walks into an open manhole while caught up in a particularly enthralling daydream.

ISTJ: Is killed fighting for their country. Or state. Or son’s little league team. Really, any cause that vaguely needs a hero to die for it.

ENTP: An elaborate magic trick gone wrong.

ENFP: Decides to go on a “Fun Jungle Adventure!” alone, without a map, and never returns.

ENTJ: Is elaborately murdered by an underling who wanted their job.

ISFJ: Donates a vital organ to someone who needed it more than they did.

ESFP: Stays awake for five straight days because there were a lot of great parties going on and they had FOMO. Dies from exhaustion.

ESTJ: Is attacked by a group of miscreant youths whom they stop to lecture on the street.

INTJ: Dies in a car accident caused by the fact that they were driving too cautiously.

ISTP: Joins an underground Fight Club to unleash their bottled-up feelings toward ‘The Man’ and loses the wrong fight.

ESFJ: Is murdered for accidentally blabbing the wrong person’s secret.

ISFP: Stages their own death to avoid confrontation with a loved one. Might still be alive out there somewhere – we’ll never really know.

Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her new book available here.

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